BURLINGTON, VT -- In a closed-door meeting with high-ranking DNC officials, Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders made clear that his number one priority before he decides to endorse presumptive nominee Hillary Clinton is that all the Holiday Inn Express reward points he's earned over the past twelve months be accepted with "no funny business." In a lively discussion with Chairman Debbie Wasserman Schultz and other DNC officers, Sen. Sanders requested that every reward point should be given equal value, even points the Senator garnered while staying at a regular Holiday Inn -- "There was no Holiday Inn Express option in Ann Arbor, but the nineteen-year-old front desk attendant assured me that my stay at a regular Holiday Inn would count towards the greater Holiday Inn Express reward point total."
Sen. Sanders was also concerned about certain Holiday Inn Express stays where he used the express check-out option on his in-room television, but wasn't sure if those stays were factored in to his reward account. There was also an extended conversation about the limitations of using the reward points to book during peak times and other blackout dates. "The Holiday Inn Express reward points system is trying to box out the working class from getting the full value and benefit of their points," said Sen. Sanders - "It is all part of a rigged economy where the top 1% has 90% of the wealth and that same 1% are able to plan vacations without worrying about their reward points being refused because it happens to be the peak period of Labor Day weekend in the Poconos."
The DNC was assured by Sen. Sanders that once the committee and the Sanders campaign come to an agreement about the Holiday Inn Express reward point total, they would move on to secondary issues such as changing key elements of the Democratic platform and the circumstances of any kind of endorsement of Secretary Clinton by Sen. Sanders. "I thought these Super-delegates were annoying to keep track of" said Sen. Sanders as he left the meeting, "but they got nothing on this fakakta reward points system. When we do this again in four years I'll just sleep in a damn VW van like we did in the sixties."
